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Disciplining Your Child

 

I am an old fashioned parent, a child of old-fashioned parents but the difference is I adapted to the times. Old fashion parenting style never goes out of fashion. I believe parents should set their own rules and forms of discipline based on how they were brought up and from their own research. Discipline is the process of teaching your child acceptable behavior and what is not acceptable. Discipline teaches our child to follow rules. Nobody wants to be accused of raising a spoiled brat, right? Here are some tips to consider when it comes to the discipline of your child.

 

  1. Be clear about rules. This is true for TV, movies, internet, games, books. Unfortunately, not all of what children learn from TV is beneficial. TV programs often present a very selective view of life, with glamor in stark contrast to the real people children come into contact with. If  rules are unclear, your child will have a hard time following them. Establishing rules need to be start when they are very young so they get into the habit of following these rules. Consistency is really important to our children. With our girls, we set rules on study times, party curfew times, the age when they can go dating , telephone limits, study time and household responsibilities.

 

  1. Reward good behavior. During my childhood days, my mother planted a guava tree for the purpose of using the guava branch for whipping us when we were naughty.  I don’t recall any praises for a job well done . Wouldn’t it also be best to reward good behavior ? Positive reinforcement reaps more than negative reinforcement. Rewarding good behavior does not have to be a gift . One can say ‘good job. I’m happy you fixed your bed ’ when your child cleans his room.

 

  1. Have a time out.  Easier said than done, but I tried to be as calm as possible when it came to discipline.  When  the children hit adolescence, I allowed them to express their feelings respectfully if our rule seemed harsh. Compromise came when it came to fashion requests. My husband then did not allow sleeveless shirts but we were able to bend that rule. It is also best to veer away from no-win arguments.  Often they will vent out, "This isn’t fair” and I would often say “I know or And what did I say?" to enforce rules that have already discussed.

 

  1. Be a role model . If you want your child to be courteous, then let your child see your best manners, at home and in public. “The number one way human beings learn is through imitation and copy”, says Jim Fay, co-author of Parenting with Love and Logic.

 

My discipline technique involved making my children happy, respectful, respected by others, and able to find their place in the world once they are adults. In the end, the discipline techniques you choose will depend on your child's age, your child's temperament, and your parenting style.

Potty Training

 

Us parents long for the day we change our last diaper and quite frankly, diapers are expensive! It was quite the convenience when you first become a mom but you then later realize how much of your monthly expenses go towards those nifty, but costly, poop-catchers. So I decided, I wanted to get them started on how to use the potty right away.

Just like how every child is different, there's not one way of approaching toilet-training and I experienced that firsthand with my 2 boys.  So this is what I learned...

"Show and Tell"

I capitalized on their prime interest at that age which was - the desire to imitate. I would let my babies watch me go to the restroom. It helped. And there's nothing to be ashamed of something that we all do naturally, just explain to your baby, step by step, what you are doing as you go to the toilet.

"Book Learning"

When I felt that my child was ready for the potty, I read books to him about the subject. There are a number of clever books that show pictures of characters using the bathrooms all by themselves. Once they see these toilet-trained models, they'll get the idea that if they can do it, so can I.

"Make Sure Baby is Ready"

A sign for me that my kids were ready for potty training was when they would hide underneath the dining table or behind the sofa to do #2. These signs of squatting, grunting or retreating shows me that they are now mentally mature to understand of what's going on inside their bodies.

"Make Sure You're Ready"

Potty training requires a lot of patience. Don't expect your baby to be potty trained in only one training session, it takes a lot of time and practice. So when we're both ready for the training to start, I would let them roam around the house without diapers. The moment I see that my child is about to go, I would quickly, but gently, carry him to the toilet. Be ready for accidents! Accidents do happen and I was peed on several times before reaching the potty! Which is where the next step comes in...

"Praise"

I would praise my child every time he makes it to the potty, and still praise him for a fairly successful deed. There is no room for punishment in toilet training, the same way you wouldn't scold your child for tripping while learning how to walk.... They don't know any better so let it go when they poop on the carpet.

"Know and Accept That All Children Are Different"

Once you have 2 kids like me, you'll know that no child is alike. Every kid is different in his own way so you have to approach them uniquely, even when it comes to toilet training.

Tomas was completely potty trained by the age of 2 and a half. During training he only wet his bed a handful of times before he was weaned from the diaper. And take note that his personality type is clingy. I believe he was easier to train due to his eagerness to please mommy.

Lucas is 5 years old and the last time he wet the bed was just last week. He is a much more independent child and because of that personality trait, he has a more carefree attitude compared to his brother.

One thing they did have in common was that the boys didnt like using the potty. I guess its because plastic potties look more like a toy rather than a place to do the deed.  I didn't force them to use it, instead I got one of those little potty seats with handles on the side.  It prevented the kids from slipping into the toilet and the handle on the sides was something to hang on to instead of the yucky toilet seat.

So I hope my tips will help you during this exciting phase of your child's life. Just remember to relax, gone are the days when toilet training was equated to good mothering. Thanks to the internet, we are now more educated mothers who can take parenting in stride.

Good luck!

Getting Your Pretty Back Post Pregnancy

 

Once you give birth you may think that everything will go back to normal, or to its pre-pregnancy state right away. In reality this can take quite a bit of time as you have gone through quite a transformation in the last 10 months. Everything has ben put through the ringer, your body, skin, even your hair.  It takes a while for the hormones to settle back to their levels before you had your precious bun in your oven.

 

SKIN 

The hormonal changes that accompany pregnancy affect your skin quite dramatically. They can lead to dry, red, and flaky skin and chapped lips due to the hormones decreasing your skin’s moisture. Hyper pigmentation (melasma) can also remain post pregnancy. Another fun side effect of pregnancy can be stretch marks.

 

For these issues, the number one solution is to moisturize in overdrive. Do it several times a day to replenish your skin’s moisture. Coconut oil is a wonderful moisturizer that has no nasties in it. For stretch marks, hopefully you would have been trying to treat them during your pregnancy. You can continue to do so with bio oil or olive oil.

 

FACE 

A hallmark of any new mom is dark circles under her eyes. Late night feedings, which result in interrupted sleep, are the culprits obviously. Unfortunately the only true solution is more sleep that is a luxury most new moms do not have. You can reduce the puffiness by placing cold cucumber slices or cold (used) tea bags on your eyes for a few minutes.

I know it is clichéd but if you can sleep when your baby sleeps to try to catch up on some that you have missed. The lack of sleep affects everything from your skin to your mind. Sometimes catching a few zzzs is all it takes to freshen you up physically, mentally, and emotionally.

 

BODY 

It doesn’t matter whether you had a natural birth or a C-section, my advice is to make a move. Don’t be sedentary. Movement helps your body to heal faster because it gets your blood flowing. I walked every day after I gave birth. Starting with small five minute walks, gradually increasing the amount of time each day.

This will also help your endurance and motivation when the doctor gives you the all clear to add some light exercise to your routine.

Don’t expect everything to bounce back right away. It will take time and a little bit of effort on your part but it is possible. Good luck!

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2017
May